Choosing to see

Sometimes I look at our family picture and try to imagine what it will look like when Charis joins our family.
When we started this journey I could see her little face, tucked tight with the rest of ours. Now...my eyes are blurry. All I see are all the road blocks that stand in our way. But I will trust, I will obey. I will choose to see with eyes of faith.

Be still my soul

My thoughts have been so cloudy this week. I have done a great job of letting everything that doesn't belong, in: fear, anger, unforgiveness, doubt, worry. I am so thankful for thy hymn writers who were able to bear their soul with words and music. What a gift. A precious friend reminded me that more important than a clean house is a clean heart. Jesus has washed my heart and made it white as snow. Just cause He loves me. Not because of anything I've ever done or ever will do. He just loves me. With that knowledge and hearing the words of this hymn over and over the static is slowly leaving and I can hear His voice again...Be still my soul...

Be Still, My Soul

Be still, my soul--
The Lord is on thy side!
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide.
In ev'ry change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul--
Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul! thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul! the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul! the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul! when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

All the way my Saviour leads me

1. All the way my Savior leads me,
   What have I to ask beside?
   Can I doubt His tender mercy,
   Who through life has been my Guide?
   Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
   Here by faith in Him to dwell!
   For I know, whate’er befall me,
   Jesus doeth all things well;
   For I know, whate’er befall me,
   Jesus doeth all things well.
2. All the way my Savior leads me,
   Cheers each winding path I tread,
   Gives me grace for every trial,
   Feeds me with the living Bread.
   Though my weary steps may falter
   And my soul athirst may be,
   Gushing from the Rock before me,
   Lo! A spring of joy I see;
   Gushing from the Rock before me,
   Lo! A spring of joy I see.
3. All the way my Savior leads me,
   Oh, the fullness of His love!
   Perfect rest to me is promised
   In my Father’s house above.
   When my spirit, clothed immortal,
   Wings its flight to realms of day
   This my song through endless ages:
   Jesus led me all the way;
   This my song through endless ages:
   Jesus led me all the way.

What do your kids do while you try to create a blog?

The things my kids did while i tried, unsuccessfully, to add a cute little piece of blog art and have the title centered:  1.  poke holes in various places of koolaid koolers (not the hole you are supposed to poke to have maximum success) then let them drain into full bottles of water to try to turn the water different colors. I guess the homeschool community would see that as some type of chemistry experiment. I find it, quite honestly, annoying! But for fear that I would bruise their budding scientist minds I praised them for their creativity and told them to clean up their mess..."yes mam momma. we cleaned up our mess" which translates into I don't know if we've cleaned up our mess but if we say yes mam she'll lay off! 2. Eat icecream, several fudgesicles, several bowls of fruit loops, and goldfish. Coen relented to having a mayo sandwich as an alternative to anything snack like.
Did I mention the hours spent playing the wii? So let me recap...they ate whatever they wanted, did a couple science experiements, played the wii till they were twitching and I dont even have a cute piece of art work with a centered title to show for it.

The journey begins

The words still echo in my memory...lifes always an adventure with Wendy! I don't think Russ knew what he was in for when he heard those words on our wedding day. We've been married 10 years. We have two beautiful, active, spontaneous, funny, crafty, bug lovin', nature lovin', anything water related lovin' kids. Kelly Grace is 6 and Coen will turn 5 September 10th. What more could a girl want? . You know how you have a plan. Two kids. A girl. A boy. Perfect. They each have their own room. Everything is just right. We can breathe! They can do alot for themselves now. Life is pretty easy.
Then creeps in a longing for another child.
Well in my desperation of raising kids that are 19 months apart I begged Russ to get a vasectomy soon after Coen was born and that wonderful husband of mine AGREED! No more babies for us. I knew I would have crazy days of wanting another one but why rock the boat. We have two healthy kids.
Cue guilt! Why? Why? Why? didn't we wait. Why did we make it so final?
The longing, stirring in my soul for another child would not go away! After sharing my feelings with Russ he agreed to a reversal! WHAT? If you know Russ you know he does not enjoy procedures of any kind much less, THAT!
Oh did i mention how expensive it is? 11,000.00 big ones! Well, Mr. Thrifty found some Dr.'s in other states who were willing to do the procedure for a cool $5000.00.
We were all set. We were planning on the procedure to be done in august. I just couldnt shake the unrest about the reversal. Something wasn't right. We still wanted another child. Something, someone, seems to be missing around here. So why the unrest? Vasectomy reversals are common and successful. Then the Lord whispered to my heart...adoption.
Russ has never been open to adoption. Another whisper...China. Oh Lord, he'll never go for that. Well all I can do is ask him...and I did, and he said yes and here we are.
We've been accepted into the China adoption program through America World Adoption. We are in the 'paper chase' part of this journey. We do not have an extra $30,000.00 in savings so we will be fundraising to bring our girl home.
And I thought $11,000.00 was crazy. I know That God is able to provide for what He's called us to do. Our last small group study was on growing your faith. We were encouraged to just get out of the boat. We're out of the boat. I thought the water would be calm once you got out of the boat but its the oppositte. A storm rages. We are reminded daily of the enemy who would love nothing more than to discourage us from bringing this child of ours, who happens to be in a chinese orphanage, home. Not only are we rescuing this helpless child from an orphanage we are offering Jesus to one who might not ever hear. We are teaching our children
James 1:27: Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

I was encouraged to read Adopted for Life by Russell Moore. He describes adoption as a picture of the gospel. He writes "The gospel welcomes us and receives us as loved children. The gospel disciplines us and prepares us for eternity as heirs. The gospel speaks truth to us and shows us our misery in Adam and our glory in Christ. The gospel shows us that we were born into death and then shows us, by free grace, that we're adopted for life."

We ask that you pray with us and pray for Charis. Pray that God will provide to bring her home. Pray that we will trust while we wait. Pray that we will keep our eyes on Him for He is able to do immeasurably MORE than all we ask or imagine.(Eph 3:20)